Ohhhhh Emmm Geeeeee! I can’t believe it’s really true. You are a Chicago Bear!!!! I feel like I’m in a dream. I’m going to try to contain my excitement for a few moments and welcome you to your new home. First off, you realize you are filling a huge void at wide receiver. Since your old buddy Jay Cutler has been here, that hole has been even more glaring. You know he’s got a gun, but we haven’t provided him with a big target to play catch with. Our new GM recognized the obvious need for a clearly defined #1 WR, and the trade he made to get you seems like highway robbery. (sorry, Miami) Bears fans remember the fat numbers Cutler put up in Denver with you catching the ball, and your own stellar stat sheet from your time there and in Miami speaks for itself. I must say Brandon, you are a stud! Everyone, and I mean everyone, shares in my excitement for you to be wearing the Blue and Orange. Kudos and welcome!
I’d like to be perfectly honest with you though, and tell you that my initial bliss over the trade deflated slightly just the very next day when news broke of your latest off-field drama. I have no idea what the actual facts are, and frankly if you average 1,000 yards and 10 touchdowns, I really don’t care. But I do know this was not the first of such “incidents.” I also know that both the Bears and Dolphins GMs were fully aware of the facts prior to the trade. If Phil Emery is okay with it, I am too. Bears fans are willing to forgive and forget the past, especially since your issues preceded your arrival in town, but we can be quite tough if you’re not on the field due to circumstances within your control off the field. And we’re all quietly praying you somehow elude suspension.
Mind you, we can be just as tough if you don’t produce what we are eagerly expecting you to produce on the field. Media scrutiny will be more intense here than where you’ve been. Just so you know, they tend to prefer a lively personality at pressers. You might have heard that the Chicago media thinks Jay is too “aloof” and doesn’t make enough “eye contact” when speaking to them. Do yourself a favor, if you’re anything less than witty, at least fake it in front of the cameras. Keep yourself on the field and do what you do best, and we’ll all get along just fine.
Anyway, Bears fans are simply salivating at the thought of you suiting up come football season. My excitement is building even just writing you this letter. I may have to cure my impatience with a trip to Bourbonnais this summer. Oh, you might not know, that’s where you’ll be in training camp. Don’t worry, there’s a religious college and Steak and Shake in town. Maybe you better bring your Xbox.
Lastly, never forget the most important thing… beat the Packers!!!