You don’t know me. I’m one of a million fans, annoyed as the rest of them with this contract madness. I know you don’t doubt that your city (and it is your city, King Brees) wants you paid whatever you desire to play with us through the end of your career.
All your fans are reeling, asking one another what in the nether hell is going on in Mr. Loomis’ cloudy office. We know there’s a salary cap issue, though we won’t claim to understand its details.
What can we do? I’m asking, we all are. Do you want to eat free at K-Paul’s forever (if you don’t already)? I’d venture to say your city would do anything to see you under center at OTAs ASAP.
So, I have a proposal for you and for the Who Dat Nation: let us take up a citywide collection. Sure, we can’t pay you to play, but we can pay you endorse us, right? I hereby personally offer to organize and execute an endorsement deal, worth the difference between your asking price this year and Mr. Loomis’ highest offer. I’ll set up the website to take donations from the Who Dat Nation, and I’ll set up production on a commercial for the City of New Orleans. And at the end, if my fellow citizens agree, we’ll get you the money, come hell or the high water we’re all painfully familiar with.
I’ll do it every year until you choose to retire, if that’s what it takes.
If I get twenty comments to this post voicing agreement from other fans and even the slightest suggestion from any of your people that you’d take it, I’ll start the ball rolling. I’m 100% serious. If I had four million dollars to spare, I’d pay you by myself. But I don’t – I only have some time and some determination to better the chances that your team will keep bringing me such unbounded happiness this year.
With a word from you that you’ll consider this, I’ll dedicate the next weeks of my life to making it happen. We’ve been the undeserved pariahs of the NFL too long. We want to fight back. Let us, please.
With all the love of the Who Dat Nation,