By: Andrew Choy
I have a confession to make. My favorite Boston sports team is the Red Sox. An odd admission for a writer on a NFL-focused website, but one that probably doesn’t surprise any Boston readers born before 2001. The Masshole Creed is God, Country, Family, Red Sox, and those last two might swap depending on how close we are to opening day. A few months ago, I was introduced to a friend’s new boyfriend, who, upon learning I was a Boston sports fan, asked “Which would you choose: 5 more Patriots Super Bowl victories or 1 Red Sox World Series title?” I told him it wasn’t even close. He told me he’d never heard a true Boston fan hesitate.
And so it was with much heartbreak that I came to the realization last week that I no longer care about the 2012 Red Sox season. For most of the year I’ve thought, “well if we can just put together a nice 8 game road streak we’ll be back in the hunt for the second wild card spot.” I’ve even gotten excited about the return of Carl Crawford, hoping he might be back to Tampa Bay form and the catalyst this team needs. I was a fool. The 2012 Red Sox are 6.5 games behind the Orioles in the Wild Card race. The Orioles, a team with a negative 45 run differential against opponents. The Orioles, a team whose last winning season came, not only before Britney Spears went crazy and shaved her head, but before Spears released her debut album “Oops…I Did It Again”. BB – Before Britney!
I didn’t give up on the Sox this year simply because they are losing. I gave up because they are one of the most unlikeable sports teams I’ve ever witnessed, a clubhouse full of prima donnas. The latest drama stemmed from a mysterious players-only meeting, the purpose of which, according to Jeff Passan of Yahoo!, was for the players to demand that the owners fire manager Bobby Valentine. Allegedly, the meeting was called by Kelly Shooppach via a text message on Adrian Gonzalez’ phone. In the days that have passed since the story broke, the players, owners and even Bobby Valentine have put various spins on the events to downplay their significance. One thing is clear- Valentine is no longer in charge of his clubhouse. Thinking about the events of the last year made me wonder how the Patriots organization would react in similar situations:
On fried chicken and beer in the clubhouse in 2011: The only player on last year’s Patriots ballsy enough to try this is Chad OchoJohnson. Had Bill Belichick walked in on Ocho with a beer can in his hand, he’d have been cut faster than you can say “your only career option left is competing with Ryan Lochte on reality TV.” I’m not sure about the fried chicken policy in the Pats locker room, but football is a lot more aerobic than baseball. So, if the guys want to eat fried chicken during a game, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt on that one.
On Sox ownership telling Valentine to go easy on the players after Valentine apparently said “nice inning” to the two-error committing, Will Middlebrooks: Are you kidding me? Have you heard Belichick’s sideline commentary to the players? A sarcastic “nice inning” is like a pat on the tush in comparison to some of the stuff that gets said on the sidelines. Furthermore, Robert Kraft would never tell Belichick how to manage his team once the game clock starts ticking.
Related: Fan Tips for Patriots Training Camp
On “The Meeting”: There is only one player on the New England Patriots who could text Bob Kraft and the players, and ask for a meeting to discuss why he he was unhappy with Coach B. Bob’s likely response? “Didn’t know how to text back until I asked Ricki. Instead of a calling a meeting reminiscent of Mean Girls, why don’t you write Bill a thank you note for giving you a career and a hot Brazilian wife? Better yet, why don’t you also send him a sleeveless hoodie made of gold?”
None of the things that have happened with the 2011-12 Red Sox would even be plausible on the New England Patriots. Beckett would have been benched. Youkilis would still be running laps for all of his public complaining. Adrian Gonzalez would be carrying the rookies’ pads in training camp. No, this stuff doesn’t happen on Bill Belichick’s watch. On Rex Ryan’s watch? That’s another story…
I enjoy your style of writing and the content of your articles. However I question the necessity of you making a gratuitous, negative comment about the Baltimore Orioles. What was that all about? Baltimore has a great and proud baseball legacy – Brooks Robinson, Cal Ripken, Frank Robinson, Jim Palmer – just to mention a few. It can’t be because Baltimore is inept compared to the boys from Boston. Since hostilities ended in WW I the Orioles have won 3 World Series to the Red Sox 2. Perhaps this is a transfer of pain from that terrible drubbing your Patriots took at the hands of the Ravens in 2009. My only other thought is that perhaps this lashing out at Baltimore for no apparent reason is somehow personally motivated
Thanks for reading Don. Baltimore has a great baseball legacy and one of the best stadiums in the league. I referenced the Orioles first because Boston was in the middle of a series with them, they are in the Red Sox’ AL East and finally because they have one of the worst records in baseball since 2000. When you add in the fact that the Orioles hired Dan Duquette, who debatedly is responsible for the 2004 Red Sox title (depending on how much credit you give Theo vs Duquette’s building of the farm system), it makes them a natural target!
As much as Bostonians love their Pats, my guess is the Sox will always be first in their hearts. This article is right on. After the huge disappointment of 2011 where they were picked to be the equal of the 1927 Yankees and the best team to ever take the field-a season hard to swallow even for fans that waited 86 years for a world series win…
and now this season…stopped watching myself-couldn’t quite grasp why, and this article nails it! and makes me chuckle despite my disappointment. Maybe John could use a consult with Bill and Bob.
like Slimskys said above: great sports knowledge and GIRL POWER! yeah!
Next year is a new year!
I love this blog! There are lots of people that are funny and lots of people that know sports but Blob is both! And now that I know she knows as much about baseball as football I am even more in awe! Girl Power, yeah!