At 3-4, The Bengals Are Playing Like Undecided Voters On Their Own Season. I mean, this is really a tragedy. We have the right players to play an explosive offense. Yes, I am completely ignoring the Bengals’ practical ineptitude at running the ball. The Bengals also have a strong enough defensive line that I can almost convincingly distract people from their lack of a secondary. However, the Bengals are calling all the wrong plays and players.
I Don’t Have 21 Questions or 99 Problems, But Hear Me Out Anyway…
1) Why is Rey Maualuga still starting at middle linebacker? Maybe I am too nice. I have avoided pointing out his atrocious play this season because I hoped it would improve. It hasn’t. Rookie Vontaze Burfict is doing any and everything the Bengals ask. Hmmm… How about put him at middle linebacker? I bet Burfict is dying to channel his inner “Ray Lewis.”
2) Why is Andy Dalton not throwing the ball deep to A.J. Green and Andrew Hawkins? A.J. Green was not on the Madden ’13 cover, it was Calvin Johnson of the Detroit Lions. There is no jinx or curse to explain this travesty. I cannot find one good reason why Dalton and Green are not connecting more, especially when you have Hawkins (and Mohamed Sanu) as legitimate options for defenses to cover.
3) WHY IS JERMAINE GRESHAM NOT getting more of those short passes over the middle? No, seriously, I am completely befuddled by offensive coordinator Jay Gruden’s wasting away of the Bengals’ tight end. We obviously need an aggressive passing game that works because…
4) Why didn’t you listen when I said Benjarvus Ellis-Green was not the answer? Yeah, yeah… I said I was going to get over it. Well, I’m not. Sure, the Bengals’ offensive line needs some work, but “The Law Firm” keeps billing hours but not winning games. This should be open and shut on why his production must improve.
5) Why have I given up on the Bengals secondary before mid-season? Well, I am willing to put my faith in the Bengals defense getting more sacks and tackles. Besides, there is no one in that secondary that deserves a mention through the first seven games of the season. Ouch… Yeah, I said it, and I’m not convinced a bye week changes my opinion.
Fantasy Football Rights and Wrongs (because I am right about your decisions and not mine): I can finally say I am no longer dead last in my two fantasy football leagues. However, let me give you some words of advice so you avoid the mistakes I have made… Do NOT attempt multiple new game strategies at the same time. They are bound to work against each other. Oh, you weren’t expecting me to break down the meaning of life, were you? Yes, it is apparently just that simple and keeps you from benching Brian Hartline and Ahmad Bradshaw on the weeks they have their best games of the season. Yep, I was smart enough to draft them and dumb enough to bench them… *sigh*
Life After “Friday Night Lights” (also known as the college football season): Sad to say, the harsh glare of the spotlight often becomes too much for college players to handle. Several former LSU players, including Tyrann “Honey Badger” Mathieu and current Canadian League professional quarterback Jordan Jefferson were arrested on drug charges. Both were recently released from jail. I have a bad feeling as to how these young men’s lives play out.
Shameless Rumor Mongering (because who knows if we can really handle the truth): Say what you want, the Bengals would not be stupid to do a quick deal with Steven Jackson of the St. Louis Rams before the trade deadline. Is it desperate? Yes. Is it more desperate than the Bengals’ current running game? No. Carry on then…
The Earth Is Not Flat (and great reasons to discuss sports other than football): Are the Detroit Tigers really going to let the San Francisco Giants sweep them in the World Series? Really? The Giants are playing like they are tired of being second fiddle to the 49ers in October! Wow!!!
There May Be Life in Other Solar Systems (and other non-sports related news worth mentioning): To everyone out there affected by Hurricane Sandy, please stay safe! There is something about “10 foot storm surge” that genuinely concerns me. I went swimming in the ocean for the first time a few months ago, and I learned an impressive lesson. The ocean is not just some water. It is a powerful force of nature – even when it is “calm.”